Knowing When To Go With The Flow....
There comes a time in everyone's life , when milestone birthdays are about as welcome as Yassar Arafat at a Bar Mitzvah ; Bill Clinton at a convent ; or in Aussie lingo , an empty beer " Esky " at a ' barbie ' !
You can't stop the clock for " time out " , until it passes ....you just have to paste that silly grin onto your face , fight hysteria , and let the rellies and workmates have their merciless fun with you .
Know what I mean ? The birthday cards in the shape of tombstones with verses that obsess about baldness , love-handles , wrinkles and Methuselah ?
The obligatory " over-the-hill " birthday cake , with the halogen glare from the million or so candles that every single guest has to count ( aloud ) , just to make sure that none have been missed.
Gifts that are ' vintage ' ( wink , wink , ) wine , laxatives , geriatric underwear , self - help books on lowering cholesterol / preventing heart attacks , and subscriptions to ' Golden Years Monthly ' .
But , after all of the fuss is over , you can relax ; fall into a bottomless depression for untold days ; drown your sorrows with the vintage wine , and bake the laxatives into a chocolate cake for next week ' s Staff Social !!
Suffering a medical error experience is , on a lateral plane , not dissimilar .
Even if you haven't yet reached the phobia - inducing age of 30+ , you can't change history .
What is....just IS .
And you will need to learn to Go With The Flow , or run the risk of falling prey to your own negative thoughts .
It's not easy .....but it is worth the superhuman effort involved . Laughter really IS the best medicine , even when it is medicine that has let you down .
By sharing some of my own individual ( but true ) med / error tips , I hope to encourage you to develop your own strategies for coping within the psychological cage that is the residual of Medical Error . These are just a few of the tricks that I used to lift my flagging spirits during the worst of my own experiences . I know that you , in your uniqueness , will discover many of your own .
Coping With Laughter
~A Voodoo Doll !! You've gotta have one of these babies!! Name it after your perpetrator ! I don't care how crazy that sounds , all of the psychotherapy in the world won't make you feel as great as sticking little pearl-headed pins into one of these when you're feeling down . Do they work ? Unfortunately , not in my experience . One of my sons recently found himself at a hospital urinal trough , next to the doctor who semi-destroyed my bladder , and I am told he was " pee-ing like a stallion !" So , no , they don't ' work ' apparently ....well , at least , not yet !
~Create - A - Nickname for yourself . Making fun of yourself encourages others to laugh with you . It became more popular than " Monopoly " amongst my friends and family , to " pin the label on the victim " . The " Human Waterfall " was popular . The " Bag-Lady " ( due to my urinary paraphenalia , ) was another . " Damp Damsel " ....." Liquid Lovely " ........even my elderly Scottish Dad came up with " you're a Wee-Woman !!" When others know that you're prepared to laugh at yourself they can relax too , and laughing with others is the greatest therapy around .
Don't Become A Recluse......When you're feeling physically well enough , enjoy the extra time on your hands by re - claiming your social life . If that means dragging along all of your medical " accessories " ....so be it!! Suddenly , you'll find you get better attention from strangers and staff everywhere . Priority in the Bank queue ; first seating at the restaurant ; checkout-chicks at supermarket " express lanes " will smile and chat to you whilst they scan your trolleyload of groceries through the " No More Than 8 Items " lane . It's wonderful . So what , if it's not altogether ethical ..... we're not talking about World Peace here . We're talking strategies for feeling better about the cards that life has dealt you !! I could have used my hidden , leg "urine-collection-bag " , but it filled quickly and slid down to my ankle . So I overcame the obvious public curiosity that comes with carrying a wire-framed catheter bag holder and went wherever the mood took me .
A superstar would have been fortunate to receive the kindness and priority of service that I received. And you deserve all of the pampering you can get .... call it a fringe-benefit of your inflicted condition.
Working On It !
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