All I Need to Know in Life I Learned From My Horse
1. When in doubt, run far, far away.
2. You can never have too many treats.
3. Passing gas in public is nothing to be ashamed of.
4. New shoes are an absolute necessity every 6 weeks.
5. Ignore cues. They're just a prompt to do more work.
6. Everyone loves a good, wet, slobbery kiss.
7. Never run when you can jog. Never jog when you can walk. And never walk when you can stand still.
8. Heaven is eating for at least 10 hours a day... and then sleeping the rest.
10. Eat plenty of roughage.
11. Great legs and a nice rear will get you anywhere. Big, brown eyes help too.
12. When you want your way, stomp hard on the nearest foot.
13. In times of crisis, take a poop.
14. Act dumb when faced with a task you don't want to do.
15. Follow the herd. That way, you can't be singled out to take the blame.
16. A swift kick in the butt will get anyone's attention.
17. Love those who love you back, especially if they have something good to eat.
Submitted by Elaine Steele, Idaho
There was this zebra who had lived her entire life in a zoo and was getting a bit old, so the zoo keeper decided, as a treat, that she could spend her final years in bliss on a farm. The zebra was so excited to see this huge space with green grass and hill and trees and all these strange animals. She saw a big fat weird looking brown thing and ran up to it all excited,
"Hi! I'm a zebra what are you?" "I'm a cow" said the cow. "Right, right what do you do?" "I make milk for the farmer" "Cool."
The zebra then saw this funny looking little white thing and ran over to it:
"Hi, I'm a zebra what are you?" "I'm a chicken," said the chicken. "Oh, right, what do you do ?" "I make eggs for the farmer" "Right... Oh, great see ya round."
Then the zebra saw this very handsome beast that looked almost exactly like her without the stripes. She ran over to it and said:
"Hi, I'm a zebra what are you?" "I am a Stallion," said the stallion. "Wow," said the zebra. "What do you do?"
"Take off your pyjamas darling and I'll show you."
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