HEATHER'S STORY !

My name is Heather.  I live in South Dakota, and I am a 26-year-old
stay-at-home mom of two little boys.  For the delivery of my first son, three
years ago, I found a dr who agreed with the concept of natural delivery, and
delivered in a hospital birthing suite, without any intervention.  Brennan
was 9 lbs 14 oz, and had a shoulder dystocia problem.  The dr was able to
rotate the baby and deliver without the use of forceps or vacuum.  Although
the labor took 40 hours, I was never pushed to take any medications, have my
bag of waters ruptured, or such.  I never even took a Tylenol!  The baby and
I received no injury, although the dr did note I had a retroverted uterus at
my post-delivery checkup.  Considering the length of the labor and the size
of the baby (especially since I am only 5'1" and 100 lbs) we felt very
fortunate.
    For my second delivery, we had the same birth plan at the same hospital.
The only difference was the dr.  I blame myself for all that's happened
because I chose this dr based on his excellent bedside manner and philosophy.
  I agreed with his opinion that a birth should be a quiet, calm, natural
experience.  After all that has happened, that is still my opinion.  Still, I
assumed that if an emergency arose, he would react accordingly.  This is
where I was mistaken.  Three weeks before Landon's delivery, I began to have
consistent strong contractions, but I never dilated.  I also began to have a
strong feeling that the baby needed to be born right away.  I tried to
self-induce with cohash, mineral oil, etc., to no avail.  Although I don't
agree with routine induction, I expressed concern to my dr, reminding him of
Brennan's large size and shoulder dystocia.  He said the baby's heart rate
was fine, he NEVER did anything to induce labor, and to wait.  I returned a
week later, and the week after that, and was told the same thing.  The next
week, more than a week past my due date, the feeling was so strong that
although he repeated his conviction, I refused to leave his office without a
second opinion.  The second dr said she would have induced three weeks
previous!  When the two couldn't agree, they decided I should go to the
hospital for a non-stress test.  This test showed that the baby's heart rate
was all right when I lay flat on my back (as I had been when the dr checked
at his appointments) but when I turned, sat, or stood, the heart rate
plummeted as he wasn't receiving oxygen due to cord problems.  My umbilical
fluid was very low, and the baby was tangled in and being strangled by the
cord.  They wouldn't even allow me to run home and get my things, and induced
labor immediately. They wanted to do an ultrasound or x-ray to check the
baby's size and position, but my dr refused.  As the labor continued, and
especially during the pushing stage, the nurses and dr's assistant repeatedly
told the dr that a c-section was advised under these conditions, but the dr
refused to discuss it.  After the most agonizing, painful experience of my
life, I gave birth to a ten pound, four oz baby boy.  His head circumference
was fifteen and a half inches.  He was born face up, hand first, cord tightly
wound around his neck. His apgar score was four, and he required eight
minutes of resuscitation before his first breath. Thankfully, he doesn't
appear to have any long-term effects from his traumatic delivery.
    After Landon was born, they had to rush him away, and they took hours
stitching me up.  I was told I had torn badly (all the way through the rectum
and beyond) in spite of a large epesiotomy, but that's all.  I thought it
strange that they wouldn't let me out of bed, and insisted I not lift the
baby, but they sent me home 48 hours later with no idea what injury I had
actually received.  Four days later, as the perennial swelling went down, the
bladder, uterus, and intestine all pushed their way back out the vagina,
tearing all the stitching, and causing sudden, heavy bleeding.  My dr was out
of town, so I saw his partner, who had to repair my stitches and explain my
injury, a  "3++ uterine prolapse, cystocele and rectocele".  He said he
couldn't understand how my dr could allow this to happen.  Neither can I.  I
replay the entire thing over and over in my head, wondering what should have
been done differently.  I tried going to a physical therapist and working
with biofeedback, advanced kegals, etc., but after a few sessions, the
therapist said this injury was too severe to be treated in this manner.  I
was told I had no choice but surgery.  The first three dr's I saw said a
hysterectomy was my only option.  Being 25 years old, this being only our
second child, my husband and I both felt this was not right.  I found a
fourth dr, a female surgeon, who said she could do a fertility-saving
procedure.  Exactly three months after my son's birth, she made a large
abdominal incision and created a sling, part out of mesh material and part
out of my own pelvic tendons and ligaments, by which she attached my uterus
to my pelvic bones.  She then repaired the damage to bladder and intestines
(she discovered both small and large intestine had looped down into the
vagina).  Postoperatively, I suffered a bladder infection and a collapsed
lung.  I also lost my milk, which was devastating for me as nursing my son
was a top-priority.  I stayed a week in the hospital, then went home with an
indwelling foley.  Later, I began self-cathing, which unfortunately lasted
several more weeks.  During the three month recovery time, I was to lift no
more than five pounds.  Afterwhich time, I was not to lift over 20 pounds.  I
tried to follow that advise, but my husband works 12 hour days, and I am a
stay-at-home mom of two small boys.   I have no family nearby to help out.
The baby spent the whole day on a blanket on the floor.  He slept, played,
was fed and changed there, and even though he had terrible colic, as he would
lie there crying, all I could do was lie beside him, sing, rub his back, and
cry along with him.  This was terribly traumatic for my then two-year-old,
also.
    After I had recovered from the surgery, I felt really good for several
months.  Recently, however, I began to feel a low ache and heaviness in my
abdomen.  Intercourse became painful, an all-too-familiar backache returned,
and irregular bleeding began.  I started having many urinary infections, and
often found stitches in blood or urine.  Soonafter, my bladder and intestine
bulged out of my vagina and I was, again, left completely unable to drain my
bladder.  A visit to the dr confirmed my fear that the surgery had not been
the permanent solution we'd hoped.  Now we are left trying to decide whether
to repeat the surgery (but is a three month recovery worth it for only six
months of relief?), leave things as they are (constant infections and pain),
or just accept the "inevitable" and have a hysterectomy.  We desperately want
more children, but I am very afraid of making things worse.  I am told I
could attempt another pregnancy at this point, but there would be much
discomfort involved, and it would have to be a cesarean delivery.  Frankly,
it will be much more difficult for me to commit to a repeat surgery, because
this time I know exactly what to expect.  There is a chance that the repeat
surgery would be more successful if I had an in-home nurse to care for the
children and I on the four days a week my husband is at work.  However, the
insurance declined to pay for that service following the first surgery, in
spite of the surgeon and hospital's recommendation that  nursing care was
necessary.  The nursing care would have cost several thousand dollars, but a
repeat surgery will cost far more.  Many people have suggested that I seek
payment from my dr's malpractice insurance; but I've always disagreed with
our greedy, litigious society.  Besides, I don't blame my dr as much as I
blame medical philosophy, in general.  I strongly agree with many of your
observations that it is unfortunate that most dr's aren't trained to
recognize patients who are high-risk for prolapse.  I certainly had the
warning signs.  Besides my small frame and retroverted uterus, I am also pale
complexioned, very flexible and double-jointed, have a history of large
babies, and have a mother and grandmother who had pelvic organ prolapses at
young ages.
    For the time being, I guess by not making a decision, I'm deciding to try
to live "as is".  When my bladder won't drain on it's own, I do intermittent
self-catheterizing. I take a lot of cranberry, which cuts down on urinary
infections.  I have home-testing strips to check for bacteria in my urine,
and my dr has agreed to give me 48 hours to try to treat at home before I go
in for a week's treatment of antibiotics.  When bladder spasms occur, I try
to treat with herbal baths and hot/cold packs.  Sometimes, my husband has
taken me to a hotel room where I can soak in a private whirlpool to make the
bladder spasms stop.  Laxatives and enemas help prevent straining, and I am
very careful to avoid lifting. My three year old understands that mommy has a
boo-boo in her tummy and can't lift or play outside and such.  He tries very
hard to be my big helper.  My eighteen month old is not able to understand
such things.  He's a bit of an imp; loves to climb, run, get into a little
bit of trouble. :-)  He weighs over thirty pounds.  We're working to teach
him to climb up onto my lap; but it's when he's hurt himself, has climbed up
onto something he can't get down from, or wants to go opposite the direction
he ought to that I end up lifting him.  This occurs several times a day.  He
was not blessed with his brother's cooperative nature, that's for sure. :-)
I'm so glad to have found this website so that I can read about other people
who are struggling with the same physical and emotional pain as me.  I never
know what to tell people when they inquire about my condition.  There's
nothing worse than that "sorry I asked" expression.  Now  I just say I'm
fine, and keep my tears to myself.  Before this happened, I was a happy,
athletic, sexy, fun, and energetic person.  Now I feel like a failure as a
wife, a mother, a woman. I have found some things that help, though.  At my
last appointment, my dr inserted a device called an "estring" which serves as
a pessary while administering a three month supply of estrogen, which is
supposed to help thin, dry tissue to heal.  It has helped with bladder
hypermobility and that heavy, achy feeling.  I also have started water
aerobics at 5:30 am, while the boys are still sleeping.  It is the best pain
relief I've found, and I've tried EVERYTHING!  I also go to a yoga class once
a week.  This website, though, is what has been most helpful to me.  I love
the way all of you educate and encourage each other.  What a great source of
information and support.  Best of luck to all of you.  If you ever wish to
contact me, my e-mail address is benson3@aol.com.